{"id":3143,"date":"2020-05-15T03:00:17","date_gmt":"2020-05-15T08:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kerryaclark.com\/blog\/?p=3143"},"modified":"2020-06-25T12:25:22","modified_gmt":"2020-06-25T17:25:22","slug":"relationship-level-0","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kerryaclark.com\/blog\/relationship-level-0\/","title":{"rendered":"Relationship Level Zero"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Qualifications For Being Family<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Uncommon Relationships: Experiencing the Seven Levels of Relationships \u2013 Part 2<\/strong><\/h3>\n

We call this level zero because you can\u2019t control the family you\u2019re given. No matter what the predicament, as a child we have no control over who\u2019s a part of our family. That means our family is the default relationship and we all have someone we call family and there\u2019s nothing anyone can do about it, for the most part. Family means access to you whether you want a person to have that access or not. For example if we’re family and I need to know something about you, I don’t necessarily have to go directly to you, but rather I can go around you to get information on you and there’s not a thing you can do about it. This is one reason you must love your family. Because we’re family, I know all the people that can put you in check as well. As family, you can’t rid yourself of me even when you don’t like me.<\/span><\/p>\n

“God [Relationship Level 7] has blocked my way so I cannot move…
\n<\/span>My relatives [Relationship Level 0] stay far away,
\n<\/span>and my friends [Relationship Level 3] have turned against me.
\n<\/span>My family [Relationship Level 0] is gone,
\n<\/span>and my close friends [Relationship Level 4] have forgotten me.
\n<\/span>My servants and maids [Relationship Level 2] consider me a stranger.
\n<\/span>I am like a foreigner [Relationship Level 1] to them….
\n<\/span>My breath is repulsive to my wife [Relationship Level 6]. I am rejected by my own family [Relationship Level 0].”
\n<\/span>– bible.com\/bible\/116\/job.19.8,13-15,17.nlt<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"The Thought or Concept:
\n<\/span>Family members are grouped into only one level, level zero. There’s no reason to place them on any other level because they’re connected to you without your permission. All the other levels need your input and\/or approval.<\/span><\/p>\n

While this might be hard to accept because normal behavior has led to people blurring the lines, this means when you want to make family something other than family, this can create major problems. Can a family member truly be compared to a friend and would you want them to be? Would you want a family member to devalue you in this way? Think of it like this. Would you want your sister or brother to place some unrelated person ahead of you? And if they did, when is this okay? Let’s talk through this a little more.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you place a family member on level two – the “neighbor” level, that would mean once proximity changes the relationship is lost. That’s not so with family. What if you have a family member treat you like a neighbor? When other neighbors to this family member appear, you deep down inside believe you have more of a relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Here’s one we see in married couples. A spouse will place mom in an elevated position beyond the other spouse. In this scenario we make mom a member of level six, equal partner, in the relationship. I’m certain this is out of order and creates ripples in a marriage. We’ve seen this scenario quickly ruin marriages. We hear of this happening quite often and it’s because all parties haven’t considered or been made aware of these seven levels of relationships. You see when you place family members on the wrong level or on an inappropriate level,\u00a0 hardships and problems occur in other connected relationships whether spoken or unspoken. Stop me when I’m lying.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Practice:
\n<\/span>So let’s discuss the makeup of this primary level. Not only is it primary, it’s the default. If you never have another relationship on any other level, you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a relationship at level zero. We’ve made it level-zero because it’s the relationship that every person on earth has and it’s the first relationship we come to know as human-beings.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Side-note: I understand that there are some exceptions, but before you think of exceptions, we need to define the makeup of level-zero, family.<\/span><\/p>\n

Level Zero – Family Has Qualifications That Aren’t Transferable<\/strong><\/p>\n

Level zero doesn’t belong to others who don’t qualify to be in your level zero. What do I mean by this? Family is family, you can’t just bring outsiders onboard easily. In fact, for the most part there are only a few ways you can be placed in level zero: by blood or be born into it, legally added, or agreed acceptance by other family members as family. Family members don’t get to be on any other of the relationship levels. Even though you think a member can be family and a friend it really isn’t the same. I hear people say that their sister or cousin is their best friend. Why in Heaven and Earth would you insult your sister or cousin in this way? When you place a family member on another level, you’re saying to them and yourself that when I get tired of you, I can get rid of you. If they lose their spot on the other levels, then you’d also want them to lose their spot on level zero and it just doesn’t work that way. You can’t alter family status easily and it’s impossible to do it with “blood” family.<\/span><\/p>\n

Family means access into what made you; this is important to know. On all other levels you’re able to hide and protect different aspects about oneself, this isn’t true on level zero. You already know how family is, they get into your business whether you want them to or not. And whether you know they’re in it or not. This is why level zero is very exclusive and requires some great act to become a member, like child-birth, marriage, and adoption.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Make Up of Relationship Level Zero<\/b><\/p>\n

Today, we tend to make this level complex with mixed families, blended families, adopted family members, and abandoned family members. Let’s take a quick peek at each.<\/span><\/p>\n