How I Made Child-Support Work for Us

I started to leave this topic off.  I didn’t know of a way of broaching the conversation.  Then it came to me, hit it head on.  In this post, we’re discussing child-support and dependent-care banking.  If you will recall at the start of this section, we called it “Banking Is An Action Not An Institution“.  In the same way, providing for your child, even with child-support and forms of dependent-care, is a banking action.  Let’s get started.

I pray a special prayer for all those who have child support as a part of your budget.  This could mean a number of things, but the most common is…your child doesn’t live with you as much as they do with someone else.  The good news is, I know what that is like and dedicate this post to helping you make the best of, not just that experience, but everything that comes at you in life.

Let me put you at ease, a parent who pays child-support isn’t uncommon.  What is uncommon is those who handle it well and don’t allow it to become a burden to you and your family’s lifestyle.  For me, child-support isn’t taken, I give it.  I chose this route because of what it represents.  It represents an important piece to our daughter’s life and well-being.  She didn’t ask for it, so she shouldn’t be punished for it.

Your child is more important than a car payment.
Many of you make car payments that never go late.  Is the car you drive more valuable than the child you birthed?  No!  [If our cousin was alive, I’d get her to add a few choice words here for emphasis, if you know what I mean.]  I decided years ago at the start of the payments, that I wouldn’t be an average dad.  I decided that her mother would not have to chase me down for money.  In fact, I asked her to never ask me for it and in return, I  promised it would always be on time.  For me, it doesn’t end there, I’ve also made myself available for any and all Tamia’s needs.

“But those who won’t care for their relatives [this includes your children], especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers [ordinary people, they’re below average].” – ‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭5:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Now let’s discuss how it all works.  We have a checking account that has one purpose and one purpose only.  It’s the money that provides for Tamia.  Each pay period, the funds are delivered via direct deposit so that it’s not intermingled in with the rest.  When it’s time to make a support payment, the money is there and our home isn’t left upset.  Because we use direct deposit, we’ve never built our lifestyle with theses funds included.  If it makes you feel better treat it like taxes, it comes out before you ever get yours.

Many folks feel that because they make child support payments they don’t have to be as involved in the life of their child.  Quite the contrary, the support payment has no direct correlation to how much time a parent should or shouldn’t have with their child.  Child support isn’t a substitution for face-to-face support and interaction.  We’ve worked hard to not allow money to come into play with the shared time issue.  Time and money aren’t the same.  Tamia is worth far more.

Have a system to be accountable.
Your payments and how you handle them, whether you know it or not, make a statement to your child.  Setup the funds and make sure they are available.  Don’t send the message that your child isn’t worth you making the payment that’s due.  My philosophy is that if anyone is to go lacking, it will be me because we’ve decided that Tamia will have the best we can provide.

Each year, I track all Tamia’s expenses so that I know how much I should expect the following year.  Expenses don’t usually go down they go up, so plan for it.  Our budget has several line items for support and dependent care.  You see, I don’t drive the Mercedes Benz or the luxury vehicle yet because we’ve chosen to make Tamia our priority.  Banking is an action not an institution.

I wish I could say to those who have child support that child support was all it took and that it’s easy.  That’s just not true.  Depending upon how old your child is there’s daycare, before & after school care and even summer camp.  There are extracurricular activities like sports and beauty pageants.  The list goes on.  So I say why put yourself in a place where you are always chasing these expenses whereas with a Family Plan you can be ahead of them.

[su_note note_color="#FFFFFF" text_color="#000000"]The Family Plan Binder is available now!

Our team has worked very hard putting it together. We designed it to help you and your family move the needle forward in making your life your business. Find out more about the Family plan here.[/su_note]

If your employer offers such benefits as dependent care, use it; at least give it a try.  It’s just another way for you to have a plan that works for the good of all.  It’s a good feeling to know that you’ve successfully taken good care of the ones you love most.

Our life is enjoyable because we don’t dwell on and get aggravated by the expenses we have, including child support.  We have learned to make our expenses fit into our lives.

Today is Friday!
Again, I couldn’t think of a good way to tackle this subject, but someone has to if others will ever benefit from a plan that works.  It can work for you.  If you are experiencing challenges regarding this topic, share it with us!  Together we can work through it;  so leave us a comment below.