Leadership is built right underneath your nose, right around your dinner table, by the people you love the most, your family and friends.
Don’t feel much like a leader? What about a great leader?
If you answered “no,” you’re like most ordinary people in society, the common folk. Most individuals don’t consider themselves leaders or much of a leader; you are not alone in this feeling. In fact, my next statement might be quite alarming: your parents, close family, and friends are partly responsible for how you feel about your leadership abilities.
You might be asking, “How so?” I’m glad you asked.
Becoming a great leader doesn’t begin in school, college, or even on a job; it starts right at home, with the people closest to you. Leadership is built right under your nose, around a dinner table, by the people you love the most—your family, friends, and colleagues.
Now, what can I do to change how I feel about my leadership potential? Here are two steps you can take to enhance your leadership abilities:
1. Make someone else a great leader.
Many times, our focus is directed in the wrong place. We are focused on making leaders of ourselves when, in fact, leadership is when we make leaders of others. Don’t allow the feeling of not being a leader or much of a leader to happen to others around you, especially your family. You have the opportunity to change the direction of anyone in your family or closest to you. Don’t allow them to go through life and experience the same feelings you have. The best leaders may actually be those you influence or help develop within your own family. By investing in their growth, you can make a significant difference in their lives while also addressing what may have been lacking in your own development. Making someone else a great leader is, in fact, “great leadership.”
2. Stop blaming someone else and take on the responsibility yourself.
You don’t need everyone to define your leadership qualities, but you do need someone. While it is true that your parents, friends, and relationships (aka your environment) are partly to blame for your current status in life, the responsibility to change your life is yours. If you want to become a leader or better leader, you must get around better leaders. [1] It’s time to stop blaming others and start taking responsibility to become the leader you desire to become.
Remember this if you forget everything else: leadership is not something that is caught but rather something constructed at home, around a dinner table, and through meaningful interactions with those you value most—your family, friends, and colleagues.
[1] Proverbs 13:20, bible.com accessed March 13, 2025, https://www.bible.com/bible/97/PRO.13.20.MSG
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