How Decades 1-3 Shape Your Learning for Life
Defining the Decade Calendar – Part 1
Remember, we’re letting you into our conversation with Booma on defining the principle of the decade-calendar. In this next part of our conversation we will discuss some of the problems and normal experiences that people face from not considering the decade calendar.
Booma, for this next part, the goal isn’t just to spell out what you might find in each decade but to give you insight to what happens in one’s life when the decade activities for living get off course. In other words, when the decades and what goes along with each isn’t considered, life can get off course and when life gets off course it’s tough to get it back on course. By the way, life on it’s normal trajectory isn’t easy so when you get your decades out of whack, then you’re really in store for some major life-storms.
“Learn, earn, return—these are the three phases of life.” – Jack Balousek [1]
I found this quote in the book Thinking for a Change by John C. Maxwell. As soon as I read it I thought it was a perfect way to group the phases of life we’re referring to in decades. We will need to discuss these decades of life by placing them into small sections. I first heard these phases while listening to John Maxwell speak. When he said these words, “learning phase, earning phase, and returning phase” it illuminated something inside me that drew this correlation back to my philosophy on decades. This led me to his book where I found the quote by Jack Balousek.
When taking these phases into consideration, the decade-calendar will begin to take shape like this:
- Learning Decades – Decades 1-3 (0-29)
- Earning Decades = Decades 4-7 (30-69)
- Returning Decades = Decades 8+ (70+)
The Learning Decades
In decades 1-3 this is where we spend most of our time learning, making mistakes, and learning more. Booma, for this phase I need you to get a picture of Rudy, Vanessa, Theo, Denise and Sondra Huxtable in your mind. We’re going back to the Cosby’s. Picture them with me as we go through the three decades contained in the learning phase of life.
Keep in mind that most people would rather skip right to their own decade without walking through their prior decades, but there is great benefit in taking stock of what the prior decades should have offered and will provide insight into why your current decade is the way that it is.
- Decade 1 (0-9) – When The Cosby show had its initial season, we were introduced to Rudy Huxtable as the youngest member of the family. She was obviously a child in single digits. Like all children she had questions about everything which when asked of those in higher decades, they might find it annoying to have to answer. You see, people who successfully make it to a higher decade have already seen the lessons that come with the decade that preceded.
Because Rudy (and later Olivia in future Cosby episodes) was in decade-1 where learning is at a peak, and like all children, Rudy was a sponge. Rudy also wanted to have the freedoms that she saw in her siblings who were in decade-2. Do you recall the episode where Rudy challenged her time for bed? She thought she should be able to stay up later because times had changed and she felt she was ready. In that episode, Rudy got her wish. However, she was unable to manage the decade-2 responsibility very well as she’d not made it through decade-1. She didn’t understand that trading off sleep for pleasure would have a price tag that she would later have to pay. She began falling asleep in class and around the house. She lost focus and her childish energy that she’d ordinally had was waning. The point here is that if you try to live in decade-2 when you belong in decade-1, it creates a life that’s not so pleasant.
In what other ways can you think of that would cause pain points to a person in decade-1 by trying to live as decade-2? Because I’m extreme, allow me to help you in this way of thinking. What business does a decade-1 human-being have dealing with relationship issues? How about being in an inappropriate relationship? How about having to earn money to help keep the lights on? How about being forced to raise their siblings? This list is exhaustive because so many times in our society we see individuals who in decade-1 have taken on the responsibilities and experiences that should only come in decades beyond decade-1. And we wonder why many children have issues later in life. Many times it’s a result of decade-1 getting off course.
- Decade 2 (10-19) – This brings us to Vanessa, Theo, and Denise Huxtable. I like the fact that the show began with these three in decade-2. Denise being the older sibling was preparing for college which is a process that occurs at the later end of decade-2. Theo on the other hand was in the middle of decade-2 and if you recall found himself oftentimes in trouble with his parents. This happens as a person finds themselves in the situation where one no longer needs her/his parents to force one’s hands, but now has to make some decisions on one’s own. Then there is Vanessa, just out of decade-1 and facing the learning that comes from decade-2. She begins to like boys in a decade-2 kind-of-way, if you know what I mean. When she was in decade-1, this wasn’t the case. In decade-2, Robert shows up, Justin & Theo have relationship issues, and Denise is dating a number of guys.
Decade-2 as you know it has a lot to offer when it comes to learning. It’s the decade where you complete grade school, begin college, attach yourself in various relationships, form & shape your true individuality, and it’s where you learn the skills you will use for the remainder of your life. What would a person be like if they skipped out of the learning offered in decade-2? Give this some thought and what you’ll find is a person who doesn’t know how to relate to others. When a person misses out on decade-2 activities, they’re not prepared for what the world has to offer in decade-3: starting a family, having real intimate relationships, and beginning a career. Need I go on?
- Decade 3 (20-29) – And this brings us to Sondra. While the first episodes of the Cosby show didn’t mention Sondra, she was added later and for this lesson, I’m glad she was. Sondra in her appearance on the show was in decade-3, nearing the completion of college. Sondra couldn’t relate as much to Rudy and even Vanessa as she could with Theo and especially Denise. Here decade level not only exposes the gap, but reveals that the distinction of a decade does exist. Sondra was thinking about her future in a way that a person in decades-1 and 2 would never think. Sondra was now at the realization that she was on her way to find and create her own home. That meant that in decade-3 what was once your home is no longer going to be home like you once knew it. In fact, Sondra no longer had her designated room in the Huxtable house. Can you imagine what life is like when you’re not prepared or miss out on decade-3?
When decade-3 isn’t done well, you might find yourself back at a home that no longer has room for you. If you mess up decade-3, you’re not prepared for life without the direct supervision of a parent. When you’re not learning what you need in decade-3, you will not be able to take care of yourself financially. Have you seen any of these scenarios? Sure you have it occurs all the time because a person didn’t learn all that decade-3 had to teach them.
This decade is used to help a person develop skills to be used for the rest of their life. I’d really like to stop here for a second but I can’t. We often end this learning and development decade with the conclusion of college, armed services, and on-the-job training. Regardless of the school and teacher, this decade is the one where a person develops their unique skills for life beyond decade-3.
Booma, that concludes the learning-decades. You see, as we explain them, it’s easy to see two patterns based on people you’ve encountered. Those patterns are 1) the ones who do the decades well and 2) those who didn’t make it through the decades well. You see, the folks who move progressively forward in life and then you see those who spend their wheels. What if they knew this concept that I’m sharing with you? What if their parents knew this and the effects it would have on their life? I believe that decades 1-3 are the most important and will impact how the remaining decades will progress. Unfortunately how you begin will directly impact how you end. Here’s the good news, the beautiful thing about a decade is that you have ten years to be successful at it.
Question: what does this lesson bring to light about your learning-decades?
Reference 1: Maxwell, John. Thinking for a Change: 11 Ways Highly Successful People Approach Life and Work. Hachette Book Group. 2003.