Learning What It Means to Be of Help to My Partner
From Here to There – Part 2.1
It should not be a surprise that most, if not roughly half of marriages fail. How can they succeed when most (51% or more) have no idea of the intent or purpose for marriage? Let’s talk for a second about what we see around us in married couples. I’ll begin with a few questions.
How many of us know someone who has been divorced? Think of the names of people. Next question.
How many of us know someone who has been married for more than twenty years? Think of their names. We’ve discovered that this question becomes a little more difficult to answer. Next, of the people you know who’ve been married more than twenty year,
how many are happily married?
How many are unhappy in marriage?
Now, concentrate on the few names, if any, that have been married two decades or more and are happily married. These numbers shouldn’t surprise you, but they should scare you. Because of this we wrote this material. We want to provide others with as much as we can so that they can be one of the few persons who are happily married beyond two decades.
On another note, these numbers reveal another idea and concept that is extremely important. Marriage is not an ordinary commitment. In fact, it’s uncommon. This is why ordinary people with ordinary habits will fail at it. With that said I wish to explain why marriage is uncommon.
We’re the people who desire to be married.
Current location = we’re not married and would like to be.
As we mentioned, to have a plan (directions) you need the starting point. Your current location is that you’re not married.
Here’s what you need to know about your starting point. If God created marriage (and we believe He did) why would a person desire to be married? Let me say what it can not be. Based on the question, marriage can’t be based upon a physical attraction alone because marriage is a lifetime commitment and during one’s lifetime the physical will continually change. Therefore, there must be more to marriage than a physical attraction. To do this, we need to observe a few ideas from the very first marriage, the one God established.
“The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.”[1]
Before there was ever a need for marriage, God gave the man a job to do. It was from the job the need for help was created; thusly marriage was born.
“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for “the man” to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”[2]
Listen to these words. Following the responsibility that God gave the man, He then thought it was necessary to give him (the man) some appropriate help. Now, what responsibility do you have that requires you to need help? In other words, before you consider marriage, you might want to identify the responsibility you have that will require help.
“So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.[2]
This helper that God has for you will be “just right.” Think about that for a moment. Is this person just right for the responsibility that you have for your life’s work?
“At last!” the man exclaimed.[2]
“At last!” Now the attraction comes. This is a statement of excitement. This person should bring you excitement. These words are the words I found in the Bible. When you look at her, you should always be saying “at last!” At last, in the morning. At last when you come together in the evening. At last at night. When you look at your spouse, you should be saying “at last. “
At last, I have someone like me.
At last, I have someone who can help me.
At last, I have someone who will partner with me in my responsibilities.
At last, I have someone I can do life with.
“This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’ This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”[2]
This person you’ve selected to do life with must be worth you leaving your father and mother. This is a huge statement. Is this person worth me leaving the people that in most cases won’t leave me? We’re defining the intent of marriage. The goal is to have a person who can help with each other’s responsibilities for life with excitement and they must be worthy enough for me to leave my father plus my mother.
We’re the people who desire to be in it until “death do us part.”
Destination = remain married until “death do us part.”
Let’s for a moment, think about this assignment that the first man had from God. The task was so big, it was going to take a lifetime and it wasn’t one he could do alone. In fact, once God gave him a spouse, they then began producing children. So not only did the woman help, she produced additional people that would be able to help.
What you have to do together is important. It’s not only the glue or basis for the marriage; it’s the glue and purpose for even having a family. When your life has purpose, meaning, and destiny, it’s hard to derail it. However, when you have no intent for the marriage, there is not much there to hold it together. The intent of marriage is simply the two working together on their God-given responsibility.
Question: what is your big responsibility that now qualifies you to need help, to be married?
is available now!
Our team has worked very hard putting it together. We designed it to help you and your family move the needle forward in making your life your business.
Find out more about the Family plan here.[/su_note]Reference #1: Genesis 2:15 NLT, Bible.com, accessed June 28, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/116/GEN.2.15.NLT
Reference #2: Genesis 2:18-24 NLT, Bible.com, accessed June 28, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/116/GEN.2.18-24.NLT
All Scripture references used by permission, see our Scripture copyrights.
