Benefits to Being A Shared-time Parent

Making the Best of Being a Shared-time Parent

Doing Battle When It’s Absolutely Necessary – Part 6

Since your children don’t control their time it means their parents do and in a blended family, time must be coordinated between parents. How will you use the time you have? How will you compensate for the time that you don’t have?

In the previous lesson we discussed the term shared-time as opposed to shared-custody. Custody has such a negative connotation especially for a child. Therefore, we don’t use such language. If you want to do life unlike everyone else, that’s what you have to do. Do it unlike everyone else and use language unlike everyone else. Let’s continue.

When a person perseveres in the face of a trial, setback, or obstacle that impedes their normal plan, that person is fortunate and finds a life filled with abundance. ^[1] In other words, the challenges we face as members in a blended family and shared-time scenarios are simply a setup for a life that goes beyond the norm if we endure and overcome the challenge.

You have all the time you need to be a great parent.
How will you use the time you have? I’ve found that your job, your business, your organization, your studying, all these things are fighting for your time. It’s not that you don’t have enough time, it’s what you do with the time you have. Even if all you have is two days out of a month, that’s enough time to be a great parent. You just have to define a plan of being a great parent in two days or less out of a month. By the way, during our children’s younger years, this was a major source of concern and uneasiness. But like I encouraged Pamela in those days, I’ll encourage you. Those days don’t last forever and will be over before you know it, but it sets the groundwork for the future.

How will you use the time you have?

• Make the best of the time you have.
  If you’re like every other normal person, you probably are complaining about the time you have. Complaining has never done anything, but ensured you remain normal. So, stop complaining. Stop looking at everything that’s working against you. Start looking at all that’s working in your favor. Since you know you have to share, then you already know how precious the time is that you have and you should treat it as such. In this way, you have something a non-blended family doesn’t; sensitivity to making the best of the time you have.
• Learn how to plan and plan well.
  Because you share time, you’re not constantly on the go at least with your child(ren). Therefore you can make some amazing plans. Planning is how things get done. When was the last time you heard someone say that they are working on their plans to be a great parent? You see, you get to do just that. Plan to be a great parent. If one can be a good parent without a plan, how much more of a great parent can you be when you have a plan? Learn how to plan and it gives you, your family, and your child(ren) something to look forward to when it’s your shared time.

You have time normal parents don’t get to have.
Let’s talk about the shared-time that one doesn’t have. This is what I call an unforeseen benefit. There can be an advantage in shared-time parenting. When you share time, you have a slight advantage on the other side of the obvious disadvantage. You can plan your days during the time you’re not parenting. That’s a bonus. You can begin setting up activities and appointments. Shared time doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for parenting. It just means your partnership is more diverse. Not only that, you have time you can use for all other activities outside of parenting.

If you only see the things that impact your life from one angle which is usually a common perspective, you miss out on the opportunity to see the uncommon advantages that are just on the other side of perceived disadvantages.

Today is Friday!
Since your child doesn’t control the time they spend with you as a parent in a blended-family, you must remember that you do, whether you see it this way or not. And with the right perspective and attitude, you’ll find that you have all the time you need to be a great parent and two, you have time normal parents don’t get to have.

Question: will you see your shared-time as an advantage or a disadvantage?

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Reference #1: James 1:12 MSG‬‬‬‬, Bible.com, accessed January 20, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/97/JAS.1.12.MSG

All Scripture references used by permission, see our Scripture copyrights.