Defining The Everyday Relationships In Life
Uncommon Relationships: Experiencing the Seven Levels of Relationships – Part 1
Over the last couple years, it’s become increasingly important to make sure our family focuses on the importance of relationships. At the end of the day this is all that matters. So we’ll address issues we have in relationships, how my main people deal with it, and how we place priority on relationships going forward.
However, to get started we need to understand something; what are the important relationships? Are some relationships more important than others? If this is so that means relationships can be ranked, valued, and even evaluated.
“Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it had only one part!” – bible.com/bible/116/1CO.12.14-19.NLT
The Thought or Concept:
One day Tamia was giving us an update on her day and she alluded to her friends. When I asked for their names, she included a cousin. In normal, Kerry A. Clark fashion, I responded, wait a minute. Your cousin isn’t your friend; she’s your cousin. As she appeared a little puzzled that I would say such a thing, it was clear to me that we needed to define the relationship categories. Is my cousin my friend? Who all then qualifies to be my friend? Relationship categories? Relationships have categories?
And here’s where it gets tricky. How many relationship categories can you name? Hmmm. Could it be that this is not something we’ve categorized and defined? Could this be a reason why we have relationship issues? If you don’t understand the categories, it’s possible to place someone in the wrong relationship category and it’s also possible to blur the lines. I’m in no way implying that what I’m about to map out is law. However, you need to know that because your life is your business, you must take the time to define the rules of how your business, your life, your family operates in the confines of its relationships. Otherwise you leave it up to someone who cares little to nothing about your life, your business, your family to define it for you.
The Practice:
Over the course of the next few installments, we will go into depth of the seven levels of relationships. The relationship levels are as follows:
- Relationship Level 0 – Family.
We call this level zero because you can’t control the family you’re given. No matter what the predicament, as a child we have no control over who’s a part of our family. That means our family is the default relationship and we all have someone we call family and there’s nothing anyone can do about it, for the most part.
- Relationship Level 1 – Neighbors.
Level one represents the people you know only because of proximity. This relationship group emerges from the environment you’re in. When you change environments people in this group tend to not go with you.
- Relationship Level 2 – Disciples.
Level two relationships represent the people who need you, but you don’t really need them. They’re the people you influence whether you realize it or not. They’re your students or anyone who wishes to learn from you.
- Relationship Level 3 – Friends.
Level three relationships are what we call “friends.” These are the people you’ve selected to do a part of your life with, but can end at any time you choose.
- Relationship Level 4 – Inner Circle.
Level four relationships are friends who are more involved in your life and are much harder to get rid of. They are the ones you’ve chosen to befriend and they’ve chosen you to befriend. In this case it takes two breaks to separate you from this category.
- Relationship Level 5 – Closest Friend.
Level five relationships is when the relationship category begins to happen less often. In other words, from this level and higher their won’t be many that will ever reach this level of relationship with you. A level five relationship consists of that person who, not only you chose and who chose you, but the person who accepts you as you. They’re okay with you being you without the mask covering the undesirable parts of you.
- Relationship Level 6 – Equal Partner.
Level six relationships are probably the most misunderstood. This level should occur in marital relationships. Half the time or greater it doesn’t. This level brings two partners together to do what I call the business of life. They are equally equipped to help the other propel their lives forward to reach a fulfilled and purpose-filled existence.
- Relationship Level 7 – The One on Your Throne.
I started not to make this a relationship level and then I rethought it. It’s this level that every person needs, in order to be successful at any of the other levels. Level seven represents who you have on the throne of your life. Because I’m a person of faith, I’d like to say this is God, but in most cases it’s not. It’s the person you esteem the most; their words matter. This is that person who can tell you what to do and you respect them so greatly you do it whether you agree, disagree, want to, or hate to, but you do.
I know what you’re thinking; that was good. I think so too. As I put this content together, I thought it was good myself. Remember anything we don’t understand opens us up to abuse it or to be abused by it. You have to admit, relationships definitely fall into that category. It’s one area we find ourselves hurt in ways we never could have imagined. It’s time we took matters into our hands and placed a little structure around them.
“The body of Christ [the family of faith], or the people that are the whole of humanity, are a team [in relationships]. The body is not supported by one person, but by all of us. We are one, we are strongest working together in unity.Teamwork is the key to living life in harmony, so that we can do God’s will.” – teamworkdefinition.com/quotesfromthebible
Today is Friday!
In this series, we’re defining the seven levels of relationships. Let me say this as a caveat, not everyone will be able to advance in levels, but there are people in every level. It’s important to understand this and what it means for them, but more importantly for you.
Question: In how many of the seven relationship levels can you place a name?
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[…] Have you ever given any thought to what happens when you treat your spouse like family, a neighbor, your student, a friend, one of your inner circle friends, or even your best friend? I can tell you this, most (51% or more all people) may not ever see a problem with this. What it says is that we’ve misplaced the one we’ve called our spouse within the seven levels of relationships. […]