Use Who You Are To Make Someone Else Great
Uncommon Relationships: Experiencing the Seven Levels of Relationships – Part 4
“My servants and maids [Relationship Level 2] consider me a stranger.” – bible.com/bible/116/job.19.8,13-15,17.nlt
These are the words of Job as he expresses his pain from the loss of all his children, then his possessions, and lastly his health all within a matter of a short period of time. His losses impacted his relationships on every level. This statement in particular represents the impact his losses had on his disciples, relationship level two. The people he called disciples are now treating him as a stranger in the place he’s always lived.
Relationship Level Two – Disciple
Level two relationships represent the people who need you, but you don’t really need them. They’re the people you influence whether you realize it or not. They’re your students or anyone who wishes to learn from you.
The Thought or Concept:
“If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body.” – bible.com/bible/116/1CO.12.14-19.NLT
The Make Up of Relationship Level Two
There are people who will connect with you so that they can find out who they are. I call this level of relationship, disciples. I get it; it’s not everyday that you hear the word disciple used and you rarely hear it used outside the church. However, it’s a good word used to define a student who willingly subjects himself/herself to a teacher or teaching. Allow me to provide three examples of how this works that you might better understand:
- Mentee to Mentor.
I like to think of a mentee as a person in training, a person being tutored or as a person being advised. The key to being a mentee is that this person desires to be under the tutelage of another. The mentor on the other hand, may or may not feel the same way about being in this relationship. The mentor is the adviser, instructor, tutor, or coach. He/she may feel as if the mentee is bothersome or an annoyance. Regardless, this relationship exists for us all.
- Child to Parent.
For most of us, this relationship is easy to define. However, every child at some point looks to their parents to lead and show them how to live. A child is either a son or a daughter. A parent who is either father or mother on the other hand may or may not have ever desired to be a parent. While a child’s default is to look up to a parent, a parent doesn’t have a default desire to be the child’s guide for life. I bet you’ve never considered that. This is important to understand in relationship level two and not to be confused with relating at relationship level zero.
- Apprentice to Master.
I am a huge Star Wars fan and in many of the movies and books, the Jedi master takes on an apprentice to train, to use his unique gift or talent. The Bible shows such a relationship between prophets as well as students being taught by Jesus, Himself. Not to go into too much on either of those examples, the apprentice wants what the master has; be it a skill, improved talent, or unusual knowledge. The apprentice makes him or herself a trainee or a learner. However, a master is the person who is able to provide training and/or who has become an expert at something someone else desires to know. The master might not readily desire to be a trainer because taking on an apprentice slows them down. In relationship level two, one must realize that you must know how to interact with the person who has what you need because they don’t have to interact back.
The Purpose of Training
Training is required to direct a disciple. Otherwise, they will become the very things they see and detect in others. Training is required to direct a disciple towards their purpose in life. Otherwise by default, they will become the very things they see around them and detect in others whether we want them to or not. Everyone needs vision–also known as foresight–for life to have meaning and accomplishment. Without vision people perish or go un-constrained. This means they could possibly go off course or take a wrong course. It’s more common than not for children not to receive any direction which results in the wayward lifestyles most of us see, hear about, and may have been a victim of ourselves, today.
[You must] Train a child [a disciple, a mentee, an apprentice] in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. – bible.com/bible/114/PRO.22.6.NKJV
This is what it means to have disciples. The only way someone can go in the way that they should or even desire is to be taught and shown the way. Being a mentor, parent or master is a privilege. Common people desire to go un-directed and don’t put in the work, time, or training needed. The benefits of training go far beyond the present, but will extent into the future of the one being trained.
As the teacher, we must be careful. Even though we intend to teach something specific, we also teach the unintended to the person we disciple. We must be conscious not to transfer our biggest flaws while we try to give someone our best. Even though it’s never our intention, we should expect our disciples, even our teams, to be like us…
“Children are like arrows in the hand of a mighty warrior. Fortunate, prosperous, and empowered is the man whose quiver is full of them!” ~ Psalm 127:4-5 No Longer Common (NLC) Version
Here are three objects to consider, the arrows [disciples], the warrior [trainer] and the quiver [the connection point]. All of which are important to developing others. You’re the warrior and without the arrows you have no weapons. Your disciples, someone you have the ability to shape and push further along, are your weapons to release the world. Let’s take a closer look.
- The arrow (disciples) are our weapons in our life’s battles.
Disciples represent the person in need of training or coaching, but don’t always realize it. Everyone starts out in this position. As a mentor, we must think long term. How can we make this “arrow” the greatest weapon that we can? This is your opportunity to use what you are to make someone else great. How can we help improve this disciple, this student so that the gift they possess becomes more than it ever would if not for our coaching.
- We are the warriors (mentors,teachers, coaches, parents, instructors, masters), whose mission has been predetermined. It’s your job to make weapons of your disciples. How can you turn your apprentice, your student, your mentee, your sons & daughters, into a force that can’t be reckoned with?
A warrior is one who is trained and is now experienced in a certain craft, art, or gifting. Using this ability, it’s your life’s purpose to pass such a gift on to someone else who can do even more with it.
- The quiver is the place where the warrior and arrow interact. The more arrows a warrior can place in his/her quiver the better. A full quiver brings victory, prosperity, and empowerment. In other words, the more disciples one has the more fortunate the teacher is. You’ve helped to make something special of another person.
A level two relationship might not seem necessary in the fact that it’s the student who needs the teacher. In reality the teacher isn’t a teacher until he/she has a student, a disciple.
Today is Friday!
An apprentice needs a master, but it’s a master who’ll never be known as a master without an apprentice at this relationship level. What good is a master who has no apprentice? What good is a teacher without a student? What good is a boss without any employees? Relationship level two is a relationship of honor. It’s the next necessary step to reaching the next highest relationship level.
Question: Where’s your disciple?
Thanks for visiting kerryAclark.com. Don’t forget to share this lesson with either your disciples or the person who’s disciplining you.