Kerry A. Clark & Company

Make Your Life Your Business

  • View KerryAClarkandCo’s profile on Facebook
  • View kerryaclarkco’s profile on Twitter
  • View kerryaclarkandco’s profile on Instagram
  • Home
  • Blogs
    • BeTheSohrs Campaign
    • NLC Blog
    • KAC Blog
  • About Us
    • About Sohrs.com
    • About NoLongerCommon.com
    • About kerryAclark.com
    • About Pamela & Kerry A. Clark
    • About Kerry A. Clark (KAC)
      • About Kerry A. Clark (KAC)
      • Learn From The “Koach”
    • Extreme is Who I Am
  • Get Updates
Home How To Make The Blended Family Work Looking at the Impact of a War on a Family
Looking at the Impact of a War on a Family

Kerry Clark October 30, 2020 Leave a Comment

« You Must Navigate Your New World A New You »

Looking at the Impact of a War on a Family

How to Deal with the Impacts of a War in a Family

The War Families Find Themselves In  – Part 3.1

When the battle begins (that breaks a family apart) you will be forced to define your new role. Who you are and where you are? It’s almost an unnatural process. You must define your mix. What am I really fighting for? When the battle is over, what does this look like for you?

After you’re done battling and the war is finally over, no side is left unscarred and you are left in a place of uncertainty. Each side must rebuild that which was destroyed during the fight. What will you need to rebuild, reshape, and reestablish now that you’ve been to war? The answer will ultimately lie within your definition of who you are. As you redefine who you are and how you’ll look on the other side of war, you’ll want to grow in such a way as to never find yourself on the battlefield with family ever again. In short, you’ll never again desire to be at war in your own family.

In this particular lesson, what I have to discuss are two ways in which you are impacted that will require you to redefine who you are. After the war, you don’t get to be the old person you used to be. The sooner you learn this the better.

  1. You are no longer who you used to be.
    Can you imagine losing the person you’ve seen in the mirror for decades? Yes, the only person you’ve known yourself to be for tens of years has disappeared as a result of war. You no longer recognize yourself and neither does your family, which is something you need to keep in the back of your mind. This impact influences how you build your new family, the family that will now become a blended family.
  2. Those you know now must meet the new person you must become.
    The Old Testament provides us an idea on how God feels about divorce (a.k.a. the war families have). It says that “He hates divorce.” 1 and so do I and I understand why He hates it. It causes a person to become a new person and for those who know this person, it forces them to become acquainted with a new person. It happens whether that person wants to become a different person or not. You need to know that this change is very hard. It’s like having a person die on you and they’re being replaced by a look-a-like. That’s what this war does in families. May we continue?

The Thought or Concept:
You are no longer who you used to be.
Allow me to help you see the breadth of how much could possibly have changed after the war in a family. This is the part that gets missed. I’m not providing this detail to scare you or discourage one of the toughest decisions you must make, but so that I can help get you back on the road to recovery quickly. It’s our goal to provide an idea of how much landscape this war touches and provide you with a list of actions not to miss. We will look at these from the eight areas that make up the business we call our lives:

  • Executive Administration: You’ll need to determine how this war has impacted your church. For me, it required a change in churches. Not only that, we had to determine how to best orient our daughter into this world of dual church attendance, church with mom and church with dad. Never considered that?
  • Finance: Your financial outlook may take a big hit. Just plan for this anyway. You’ll soon find out this war can be very costly. In a blended family scenario, you may have to provide monthly support for children impacted. Also, you might pick up children that you had never imagined supporting prior. Have a plan for it.
  • Facilities: After the war, someone has a new home, dwelling, place to live. How will this impact your children? You must consider location, distance, schools, etc. With dwelling changes comes added responsibilities and actions. Be ready for the move.
  • Office Administration: After any major event, you will need to make sure your documents, records, and paperwork is intact. Locate important documents like birth certificates and determine how each parent will need their own copies. Do what’s necessary to obtain the documents you need because you might not be able to get them from the opposing party. Just don’t count on that working.
  • Production and Development: Be careful with your job. Major life events have a way of consuming your brain power and could create hardships on the job. This was one area I hadn’t considered and while you’re trying to rebuild lives, you don’t need the added weight of looking for new employment. Remember, your family in this new world still needs you.
  • Marketing: In losing a battle or winning one where there is loss, the number one thing that no person should lose is the person God made you to be in the first place. Therefore, you will need to rebrand your image. The old image is gone and will be pretty beaten up. I suggest you start a new branding campaign not just for the people who see you from the outside, but for those on the inside. Your family will need to know that you can be counted on even in this new world.
  • Human Relations: Make this about the people. I know what led to the war may not have been about the people, but if you want to have a better go at it in the new world, you’ll need to exchange a me-centric attitude for a people-centric attitude.
  • Legacy: After the war ends is the best time to think about legacy. This is where you get to redesign your life so that it gives you an outcome you desire. You might have been on autopilot before, but it’s time to take the yoke by the hands and direct your life where you want it to soar.

We will take a break here and pick-up with number two: those you know now must meet the new person you must become, next week. Remember, all of what happens to you, is your business, your life and you have to know what to do with it when your business is going out of business. It’s not over, you get to start again.

Today is Friday!
In this lesson, we hope we’ve given you some important things to think about. For those who’ve experienced the war in families, we pray this helps get you back on the road to rebuilding. For those who have no experience with this at all, I hope you never do, but you can be an agent of change by sharing this with someone who has or is thinking about. It’s the best way you can help. 

Until next week, remember this is your life, your business. Thanks for visiting Kerry A. Clark & Co.

The Family Plan Binder is available now!

Our team has worked very hard putting it together. We designed it to help you and your family move the needle forward in making your life your business. Find out more about the Family plan here.

References:
Reference #1: Malachi 2:16 NLT, Bible.com, accessed October 26, 2020,
https://www.bible.com/bible/116/MAL.2.16.NLT

Facebook Comments

Share this content:

  • Tweet
  • WhatsApp
  • Email
  • Print

Filed Under: How To Make The Blended Family Work, The War Families Find Themselves In Tagged With: Blended Family, Divorce, Relationships

« You Must Navigate Your New World A New You »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular Posts/Pages

  • The Ceremonial Piece of a Wedding
    The Ceremonial Piece of a Wedding
  • A Personalized Touch
    A Personalized Touch
  • A New You
    A New You
  • The Welcome
    The Welcome
  • What’s a Digital Filing Cabinet?
    What’s a Digital Filing Cabinet?
BeTheSohrs-click-here No longer common blog Today is Friday

Recent Posts: No Longer Common

You Father Are Good Enough

You Father Are Good Enough

Using Prayer to Become More Productive

Using Prayer to Become More Productive

8 Ideas for Addressing God Regarding Your Office Administration

8 Ideas for Addressing God Regarding Your Office Administration

Series

  • A Plan for Your Family to Use (3)
  • Christmas (4)
  • Create A Life of Margin (1)
  • Do We Really Love Each Other (7)
  • Easter (2)
  • Executive Administration (1)
    • We’re the Executives of Our Life (1)
  • Experiencing the Seven Levels of Relationships (9)
  • Fighting the Wrong Enemy (5)
  • From Here to There (4)
  • Holiday (17)
  • How To Make The Blended Family Work (30)
    • Doing Battle When It's Absolutely Necessary (12)
      • Is That Other Parent Really Your Enemy? (5)
    • Don't Continue The War That Ended (6)
    • The War Families Find Themselves In (6)
  • Human Relations (23)
  • Intro to the Family Plan (7)
    • The Business of Running Your Life (7)
  • Lets Get to Know Your Seven Relationship Levels (2)
  • Living A Life of Focus (17)
  • Marketing Campaign For Your Life (20)
  • My Family Has a Plan, Does Yours? (3)
  • Next Level Time Management (3)
  • Planning For An Uncommon Marriage (22)
  • Products (6)
    • Pay Ahead (6)
  • Putting It All Together (6)
  • Series Archive (66)
    • Dream (7)
    • Investment Plan (8)
    • On Paper We Do Have Enough (7)
    • Slow Your Pace (12)
    • Taming Debt (8)
    • The Financial Bird’s Eye View (8)
      • The 5 Basic Financial Categories (7)
    • The Way Bills Were Meant to Be Paid (6)
    • Vision: The Purpose for My Life (7)
    • What’s In A Budget? (6)
  • Thanksgiving (3)
  • The Family Plan (215)
    • Accounting/Fiscal (70)
      • Dependent Care (2)
      • Payday (7)
    • Executive Administration (20)
    • Facilities (10)
    • HR and Growth (29)
      • The People We Care For (23)
        • Caring For How We Interact (5)
        • Caring For Our Main People (5)
    • Legacy (9)
      • The Ultimate Plan for Life (8)
        • Creating a Legacy With Your Taxes (3)
    • Marketing (23)
    • Office Administration (31)
      • Measuring Your Length of Time (9)
      • The Concept of a Digital Toolbox (14)
    • Planning (9)
    • Production and Development (9)
      • Producing For Others (7)
    • Team (3)
    • Today is Friday (19)
  • The Intent of Marriage (2)
  • Toolkit (21)
    • Finances (18)
      • Mint (12)
      • Simple Card (4)
  • Understanding the Relationship Life Cycle (2)
  • Your Life in Decades (20)
    • A New Calendar View (4)
    • Defining the Decade Calendar (3)
    • Preparing Financially for the Decades (3)
    • Using the Decade-Calendar View (4)
    • Your Life in Stages (4)

About Kerry A. Clark

Kerry A. Clark is an author, Christian life coach, Information Systems & Technology professional, platform builder and project manager.

He lives in Birmingham, Alabama with his wife, Pamela, and daughter, Tamia and has devoted his life to his 3 M’s: Mission, Message, and Ministration.

Find out more...

Sign-up to Receive Updates

Twitter Updates

Tweets by @KerryAClarkCo

Facebook Page

Facebook Page

© 2015–2022 · Streamline Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

Sign-up and Receive Our Free Gift

Sign-up for our free weekly email updates and receive a digital copy of our Relationship Report Card.  Start your journey to making your life your business!

Sign-up for my email updates.

×