The 16 Outcomes of Love – Part 2
Do We Really Love Each Other? – Part 4.2
We’re going to jump right back into where we left off in the previous lesson, Outcomes of Love. Like me you probably never considered that love produces distinct and specific outcomes. Why didn’t we consider this? It’s simple; that’s normal. It’s normal not to know what love produces. If you don’t believe it, ask everyone you know and encounter. In fact, love is not something that you normally run into. Love is not normal. Before I go too far with that, I would like to now take you right back into the outcomes of love.
Outcome 5 – Make others the center of your world.
“Love it is not proud” [1]; “it doesn’t have a swelled head.” [2]
You might not know this, but the word “proud” is another word for selfish. It’s a word that represents being full of self, self-centered or centered on one’s self. Who is the center of your world? Have you made your spouse your world? When your world is more about you than him or her, then what you’re saying is that you love yourself and not them. Whenever you see pride in any area show up, then you’ve decided not to show love in that area. My words may say I love you, but making my world about me rather than my spouse, says I don’t.
Outcome 6 – Behave with manners and know how to act.
“Love it is not rude” [3]; “it doesn’t force itself on others and isn’t always “me first.” [2]
When one sees this word “rude”, the true meaning is usually overlooked. It doesn’t simply mean to be mean, unkind, or plain ole ugly towards others. It means rough in manner or behavior. To love means you must know what it is to have manners and good behavior. Manners says that you wish to focus on another first. How are your manners as it relates to your spouse? What grade would you get In conduct when it comes to how you treat her or him? My words may say I love you, but my misbehavior and poor conduct towards my spouse, says I don’t.
Outcome 7 – Overwrite my love for me with my love for her or him.
“Love it is not self-seeking [4]; it does not demand its own way. [1] It cares more for others than for self. [2]
If love is not self-seeking, it means it’s others-seeking. If it doesn’t demand its own way, then it demands another’s way. Here’s what this outcome reveals which like all the rest makes it uncommon. Based on these outcomes, it would appear that love itself is an uncommon attribute. Therefore, one must learn how to overwrite one’s love for self with love for her or him. In other words, replace the love you have for yourself for love you have for him or her. Does your spouse think you love yourself more than you love him or her? Are you more willing to take care of your needs, wants, and desires before you care for the needs, wants, and desires of your spouse? My words may say I love you, but when my love for me is greater than my love for my significant other, says I don’t.
Outcome 8 – Don’t become irritated, angry, or lose your temper.
Love it is not easily angered [4]; it is not irritable. [1] It doesn’t fly off the handle. [2]
Love does not allow for one to become easily angered, irritable, or flying off the handle. A person who does any of these is not displaying love. So here are a few questions one must consider. Have you ever become easily angered by your significant other? Does the one you say you love easily anger you? Do they irritate you? Do you find yourself often irritated by her or him? If someone was to take a temperament gauge and measure your attitude towards your spouse, would it often read you’ve lost your temper with him or her? By the way, any time this occurs regardless of what your lips might say, the actions say I don’t love you. My words may say I love you, but when I lose my temper, become angry, or even become irritated with him or her, says I don’t.
Outcome 9 – Erase the score you’ve been keeping.
Love keeps no record of wrongs; being wronged. [1] Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. [2]
Let’s tell the truth. The majority of couples keep score or a record of when their spouse has wronged them. In fact, it’s natural to hold a grudge or even have an attitude with one’s spouse because they’ve wronged you in some way. However, did you know that when you do this it says that you do not love your spouse? Are you holding something over your spouse’s head? Do you have a secret list of items and actions that places him or her in a negative light? Are you keeping records of your spouse’s wrong doings? You see love doesn’t keep a record of what goes wrong, but rather keeps a record of what goes right. My words may say I love you, but when I keep a record of what my spouse does wrong or if my spouse keeps a record of what I do wrong, I say I don’t.
Outcome 10 – Don’t do what comes natural.
Love does not delight in evil, [4] injustice. It doesn’t revel when others grovel. [2]
From the quote above, you might not connect this correlation to what’s natural. Therefore I must spell out the meaning of the word “evil”. Evil means wrong, bad, lacking moral, dishonest, sinful, violent, mean, spiteful, hurtful, and unkind. Now think about it this way. It’s normal to be wrong, bad, lacking morals, dishonest, sinful, violent, mean, spiteful, hurtful, and unkind. It’s normal because it is uncommon to do the opposite. It’s uncommon to find a person who is right, good, having morals, honest, sinless, not violent, nice, benevolent, comforting, and kind. Which are you displaying to your spouse “evil” or “good” (for lack of a better term)? Are your actions in alignment with what’s uncommon or what is evil by its definitions? Any time one displays evil by its definitions, one is not displaying love. My words may say I love you, but when I act in evil ways or place another beneath me, I say I don’t.
Outcome 11- Replace lies with truth.
[Love] rejoices whenever the truth wins out. [1]
While most (51% or better) will make the claim that they know what truth is and what it means to be good, they do not. If truth comes from The Bible and since most people don’t read it, then the majority (51% or better) have no idea what truth is. For those who don’t like the Bible, I must ask then, where does one find truth? If there is no central place where truth can be found, then there is no truth at all for one to find. Where then is the source of this truth, one says they know? In either case, the opposite of the truth can become a problem. Everyone believes in lies, but why then is truth so difficult to believe? That’s simple, it’s common. Therefore anytime, your life is based on a truth-less existence, the default is one of lies. In this case, to love another means I must replace lies with truth and in order to do this I must know what truth is. Are you displaying a bunch of lies to your significant other? This just might be the number one reason so many marriages fall, each individual is unwilling to replace the default (lies) with the uncommon (truth). My words may say I love you, but when I live a life based on lies and not the truth, I say I don’t.
Outcome 12 – Fight to keep others safe.
Love always protects; [4] It puts up with anything. [2]
You might want to take a deep breath as we get to outcome number 12. It is often not clear how “love always protects” pairs with “love puts up with anything.” At least not until we define what it means to protect. Protect means to keep safe, to preserve, to restrict, to cover, and to shield. Your spouse is not perfect and because of this, will make mistakes during your marriage. However, a person who loves another is one who protects her or him even when they mess up. Love means one keeps another safe, preserved, restricted (when necessary), covered, and shielded. When one is unwilling to do these things, they are saying “I don’t really love you.” When was the last time you protected your spouse? Is your spouse made vulnerable because you’re unwilling to protect him or her? My words may say I love you, but when I stop protecting you and putting up with you, I say I don’t.
How I wish I could continue, but I feel like that’s more than enough for any person to digest in one setting. Remember this is how we define love which is essential in planning for an uncommon marriage, a marriage that exceeds ordinary. Stay with us as next week we will share the last four outcomes of love.
Question: how is your definition of love aligning with the outcomes of love?
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Find out more about the Family plan here.Reference #1: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT, Bible.com, accessed September 14, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/116/1CO.13.4-7.NLT
Reference #2: 1 Corinthians 13:3-7-3-7 MSG, Bible.com, accessed September 14, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/97/1CO.13.3-7.MSG
Reference #3: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV, Bible.com, accessed September 14, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/59/1CO.13.4-7.ESV
Reference #4: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV, Bible.com, accessed September 14, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/111/1CO.13.4-8.NIV
All Scripture references used by permission, see our Scripture copyrights.
