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Home Planning For An Uncommon Marriage A Personalized Touch
A Personalized Touch

Kerry Clark November 5, 2021

« The Welcome The Ceremonial Piece of a Wedding »

A Personalized Touch

The Ceremony – Phase 2

Putting It All Together – Part 3.2

Pamela and I have customized a few ceremony themes to make a wedding day special not only for the wedding couple, but for all those who will be a part of it. We decided, since we’re uncommon, not to miss an opportunity. One of our philosophies is to take advantage of every opportunity. [1] Therefore when we have an opportunity we pour it on. What is it? I am glad you asked, it’s actually who we are and we use our unique God-given talents to be the best version of ourselves in serving others. These themes are examples of how a couple’s ceremony can be tailored to mirror who they are and are becoming.

Before we give some examples of wedding themes we’ve used, I want see if you can identify with a few commonly used wedding rituals:
“Tying the knot.
Jumping the broom.
Lighting unity candles.
Writing love letters.
Breaking the glass.
Water blending or mixing of sand.
Handfasting.
Releasing doves.
Washing of hands.
Encircling each other.
The arch of swords.” [2]

This list goes on. So why do we have such rituals and how do you even choose which one for your wedding?

First, the reason for the ritual varies. Everyone wants their wedding day to be special and these rituals help with that. But what if there was a better way to have a more meaningful ceremony? One that puts these traditional rituals to shame?

The Themes
We do this by creating weddings that have a theme that match the couple on a personal, yet specific, level. Following the Ceremony’s welcome , we introduce the theme for the respective ceremony. For each couple Pamela and I have the privilege to do life with in this way, we ask God to give us a theme. This theme represents who they are. Allow us to provide a few examples so that you might have a clearer picture.

  • Pledging Heavenly Vows as Opposed to Worldly Vows
    What if you wanted or desired to have your vows based on scripture, where would you turn? It’s assumed that the normal wedding vows we hear are such a thing, but as I mentioned in a previous lesson, this is not the case. What we decided to do in our original (first) wedding theme was to alter the vows made. Instead of using traditional vows, we decided to redraft them based on what we believe to be the truth and that’s the Bible. Why not draft a set of vows that represent your faith?

  • Making This a Family Affair.
    Many weddings have the family of the bride and groom sit quietly throughout the ceremony. The family has spent a small fortune on this event and their time making it a special day. Why not have the families, specifically both parents of the bride and groom have a special part to play. Here it is that the ring barrier has more of a role in the ceremony than the mother of the groom. How might we change this? In our second theme, we crafted a ceremony which created a special moment where the parents of the bride together gave their daughter over to be the wife of the groom along with his parents. We gave the parents an opportunity to show their love and support for this couple as they wed.

  • You Don’t Need What You Have
    In this theme we focused on a couple who represented by saying “I do” that they no longer needed what they now have. In other words, it’s easy to keep searching as if you don’t have something you’ve searched long and hard to find. The search is over. You now have what you need. You have what you have been looking for. In this ceremony, we highlight what each individual was looking for and how the person they were standing in front of had what they needed. How beautiful would it be to have a ceremony where the bride and groom highlighted what they offered each other?

  • Life Throws Curve Balls, We Strike, But God Helps Us Bat a 1000
    If you didn’t know it, families can be a little messy in their make up and dynamics. There can be biological parents, step-parents, no parents, God-parents, and other blended mixes that make up a family. But what does one do when a traditional family doesn’t exist for them? These dynamics can make it awkward and even invoke some sad emotions if allowed. Regardless, a wedding day for those of such families can be just as special. So, we crafted this ceremony for the couple who has such family dynamics. In it we discuss the dynamics and the strengths it brings to the couple as well as the history that to overcome.

  • Get Back Up Again
    Needless to say, there are times when people fail in marriage, but that doesn’t mean it’s over for them. I like to think of it this way. When we serve couples where one or both of the individuals have been married before, we don’t allow a failure to keep them from rising up again. [3]
    “The godly [the uncommon person] may trip [fall] seven times, but they will get up again [and again]. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked [ordinary people].” [3]

  • The Business of a Marriage
    It is rare to find a couple who already knows how to do life together. The goal of any marriage is to merge the two into one. It’s like taking two companies (Her Inc. and Him Enterprises) and merging them into one new company (Them LLC). The beauty of such a couple is that once merged their identities merge and it is nearly impossible to split them apart.

  • A Marriage Unlike Any We’ve Seen
    We had one couple who inspired this theme. We recognized that what they wanted out of their marriage was something they’d not seen demonstrated in others very well. So we decided to bring this into their ceremony by defining what it takes to have a marriage unlike anyone else. That simply means this couple would have to do what no one else does to have what no one else has.

These themes are what we use to make the wedding unique. In some cases, the wedding can take on the decor of the theme. However, the main purpose of the theme is to be the backdrop (so to speak) for the officiant during the ceremony. Instead of using a traditionally recited ceremony, we use a well prepared ceremony to make this part of the ceremony as enjoyable as the rest.

If you are planning for a wedding allow these examples to inspire you to plan the type of ceremony you would like to have. If you’re a family member of one who’s getting ready to “jump the broom” , offer a suggestion on how they might make their ceremony even more special with a theme. If you’re a friend of someone who is about to be married, share this information with them so that their experience is one that no one who’s a part will ever forget.

You’ll be surprised what happens when we take advantage of the opportunities we have, to take a wedding to the next level.

Question: what theme can you come up with that symbolizes you as a couple?

The Family Plan Binder is available now!

Our team has worked very hard putting it together. We designed it to help you and your family move the needle forward in making your life your business. Find out more about the Family plan here.

Reference #1: Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT, Bible.com, accessed November 2, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/116/EPH.5.15-17.NLT
Reference #2: Make Happy Memories. Wedding Ritual Ideas For Your Wedding Ceremony. Accessed November 2, 2021, https://www.makehappymemories.com/wedding-ritual-ideas-for-your-wedding-ceremony/
Reference #3: Proverbs 24:16 NLT, Bible.com, accessed November 2, 2021, https://www.bible.com/bible/116/PRO.24.16.NLT

All Scripture references used by permission, see our Scripture copyrights.

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Filed Under: Planning For An Uncommon Marriage, Putting It All Together Tagged With: Marriage, Wedding

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About Kerry A. Clark

Kerry A. Clark is an author, Christian life coach, Information Systems & Technology professional, platform builder and project manager.

He lives in Birmingham, Alabama with his wife, Pamela, and daughter, Tamia and has devoted his life to his 3 M’s: Mission, Message, and Ministration.

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