What to Expect in the New Love Stage and Why It Matters
How do you define marriage?
What’s interesting is that everyone’s ideas and definitions differ slightly. These differences can create major problems over time if not addressed. What starts small can compound over 5, 10, or even 20 years into something much greater.
Have you ever been shocked by a couple whose marriage ended in divorce? You never would have imagined they had issues. What’s more surprising is that the issues they faced often started small and grew over time.
In your definition of marriage, the shared term “relationship” usually comes up. What I’m about to share with you is a concept I learned many years ago—but didn’t fully take to heart at the time.
So don’t miss this.
Every relationship goes through cycles. In other words, every relationship follows a relationship life cycle. These cycles repeat as long as you are in the relationship. The key is learning to recognize and persevere through these cycles if you intend to build a strong relationship.
What Are the Stages of a Relationship Life Cycle?
There’s a lot of information available about the stages of a relationship. Some say there are three stages, others say as many as seven. For simplicity, we will focus on four key relationship growth stages.
These stages fall into two main parts:
- New Love
- Matured Love
In this lesson, we will focus on the new love phase—specifically the first two stages in the relationship life cycle:
- The infatuation stage of a relationship
- The realization stage of a relationship
Understanding the relationship life cycle is essential for healthy relationship development and navigating early challenges.
Stage 1 — Infatuation
You won’t allow anyone to tell you anything about your significant other.
That statement should make you smile—you’ve been there.
In the infatuation stage of a relationship, no one can stop how you feel about that special someone. If your mom says anything negative, you might even find yourself defending your significant other over your own family.
In this stage, you won’t see what others clearly see. You are so taken by this person that no one can help you see what you’re not ready to see.
This is why people say, “love is blind.”
At the same time, there is something powerful about this stage.
When directed properly—especially in marriage—this level of commitment helps build a strong relationship. You should be so committed to your spouse that outside voices cannot easily divide what you’ve chosen to build together.
You will do anything for your significant other with no complaints.
When you’re in this stage:
- Nothing is too big
- Nothing is too small
- You will go out of your way without hesitation
You will get up early, stay up late, travel across town, or even go out of your way completely just to be with that person.
This is what it means to be in the new love stage.
Stage 2 — Realization
Now, let’s move to stage two—the realization stage of the relationship.
This is still part of the new love phase, but something begins to shift.
Your infatuation begins to wear off, and your personal perspectives begin to surface. The way you are wired starts to show up—something that didn’t fully appear during the infatuation stage.
This is where many couples begin facing early relationship challenges.
You begin to evaluate your significant other through your own beliefs and experiences.
You may start asking questions like:
- Why do you do that?
- Why would you think that way?
- Why is your family like that?
This is where differences become visible.
And here’s the key—this is not a bad thing.
Understanding what happens after the honeymoon phase in a relationship helps you respond the right way.
Instead of responding with non-supportive questions, strong relationships respond with curiosity:
- That’s interesting—can you tell me more?
- I’d like to understand your perspective.
If you want healthy relationship development, you must learn to appreciate differences instead of resisting them.
The Goal of Understanding Relationship Stages
Let’s briefly review.
The relationship life cycle has two parts: new love and mature love. Each part contains two stages.
In this lesson, we’ve covered the first two stages:
- Infatuation
- Realization
The goal is not to avoid the stages—it’s to understand them.
If you desire to build a strong relationship, you must learn how to move through each stage in an intentional way.
Because uncommon relationships don’t happen by accident.
They are built by people who understand the process.
Question
What have you and your significant other experienced during the new love stage of your relationship life cycle?
Continue the Journey
If you want to go deeper into understanding the relationship life cycle, navigating the stages of a relationship, and building a strong relationship that lasts, we cover this subject in much greater detail in our book:
Next Level Marriage
Learn more and get your copy here:
👉 kerryaclark.com/nextlevelmarriagebook
Available wherever books are sold.
Because strong relationships are not left to chance.
They are built through understanding, intentional growth, and a commitment to navigate every stage—together.
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