Take A Deep Breath As We Talk About Doing It
Picture a young girl and young guy who for the first time have embraced innocently. They feel their heart begins to race and a sensation they have never had before, but to their surprise this feeling captivates them. Instead of running from it, their minds cannot stop thinking about it.
As a parent and mentor, I had to ask myself how would I advise you? Would I tell them how great of an experience it is or should be? Or would I say how bad of an experience this is and can be? Do I say embrace it; it is natural or do I say run from it that too is natural? Unfortunately, I know all too well that most of the conversations have been at both extremes, thus painting bad pictures in the mind of a novice. These bad explanations and avoidance of the conversations altogether have left most individuals open to bad experiences when it comes to this topic. It has also left plenty of scars, which we will get to, that for most are unshakable.
For this introduction, however, I want to give you a glimpse of what is contained within the post that will follow. When I think back through my own experiences and those, I have heard from so many others, I did not want that for you, our daughter. If I could sit down and talk to you about sex, what would I say? That is the question I began asking myself and it is one every parent should ask themselves. This post is about what I want you, our daughter, to know and understand when it comes to sex. Brace yourself.
Let me warn you a little, most people (51% or more) have a bad first experience. The reason is because most people go into it with more ignorance than knowledge. (I feel) It is time for a Bible verse; you knew that was coming. One of the Biblical prophets teaches us that there is one thing for sure that can destroy God’s people. That is a lack of knowledge or not knowing. [1] When a person lacks knowledge pertaining to sex, then that person has a greater potential of being destroyed as it relates to sex. In other words, it won’t go well, it may disappoint, and it might scar you in a way that you are not prepared for. Enough of the warning.
This post is not intended to scare you away nor scar you, but rather give you the best knowledge of this topic so that you can have the best experience possible with a concept that God created for us.
When I think about your friends and their stories, my compassion grows for you and your friends, both the girls and guys. Allow me to briefly tell you about the four short installments that will follow.
1 – Sex Is Not Complex.
In this first series, I will do my best to explain why sex is not complicated. However, it can make a mess of things very quickly. I want you to understand the pain that sex can bring when not initiated properly and how you can avoid this pain that continues to plague the majority of people throughout their lifetime. At the same time, I want to paint a picture of sex for you that you do not think of as negative or undesirable, but the total opposite. This is what God created for us all and we need to understand it. Lord, help me, help your dad.
2 – What was sex meant to be?
I was thinking, in whose hands or mouth will I leave it to teach you about sex? If we do not, then who will? Therefore, I am committed to giving you what no one gave me. You need to know the purpose for sex, and it is not solely for having babies. I decided to test the waters with that statement. You see, when we do not understand the purpose of a thing, abuse occurs.
Let me repeat this. Most (51% or better) have no idea what sex was meant to be. Most of us have our own narratives, but the truth is, if we knew for sure then we would not be faced with all the issues we see today.
3 – What does sex produce?
Sexual intercourse, that’s strong language, produces something that is not so obvious at the surface level. It creates bonds. Clearly, when it produces children, it creates bonds for parents and children. However, it does not stop there in its ability to bond people together. The side-effect, which is really its effect, is to bond people together. I want you, our daughter, to be armed with the knowledge and understanding of what sex produces beyond two bodies physically connecting.
4 – How to “do it” better, not right.
How to “do it?” When I was young, people referred to sex as “doing it.” Today, that sounds funny. “Doing it.” That phrase in and of itself shows how people would rather avoid saying the words. Society makes the topic so negative that this act that God created is rarely, if ever, mentioned in church. Now, that is sad because what it implies is that we are leaving it to the world to explain a Godly practice.
How is sex done right? I am not sure if anyone knows the answer to that. What I do know is how to do it better than average. I want to equip you with the instructions on how to do sex better. In other words, how can we take sex to the next level? Lord, please help a dad.
I pause here to take a deep breath. Just as it might be hard for you to hear or read these words coming from me, it is just as hard for me to deliver them to you. However, know this, a good parent is willing to have the tough conversations if it means giving you what you need to succeed in this life. Now, I am committed to that. Even if we must blush or be embarrassed, what will come of it will be worth it in the end and in your life.
Question: So far what are your initial thoughts as we begin to open the book on this conversation regarding sex?
[1] Hosea 4:6 King James Version (KJV) , Bible.com, accessed March 28, 2024, https://www.bible.com/bible/compare/HOS.4.6
All Scripture references used by permission, see our Scripture copyrights.
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